10 THINGS EVERY NEW MANAGER NEEDS TO KNOW
Your customer is really angry with you. Your boss insulted you in front of the team.
Your co-worker took credit for your idea. Your employee failed to meet a major deadline.
These are just a few of the tough issues managers may face. Dealing with a difficult customer, talking to your
boss about his or her behavior, letting your co-worker know that what he or she did was out of bounds, and
talking to your employee about subpar performance all constitute some form of conflict. You can ignore it, but
the conflict won't go away; in fact, there's a good chance that things will fester and get worse. As difficult as it
may be, tackling these tough issues right away is best. To do that, you'll need to engage in a conversation with
the other party. Here's a way to approach it.
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What do you want for yourself, for others and for the relationship? Be honest about your motives. Do you want
to win? Do you want to be right? Do you want to punish? Seek revenge? Defend yourself? Save face? The
authors of Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most,
say that while these purposes may feel
right to you, they usually won't work.
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The authors offer three purposes that do work, however:
Keep your purpose in mind. A good starting point is to think about your true purpose
for having this conversation.
TACKLE THE
TOUGH ISSUES
RIGHT AWAY
Express your
views and feelings
Learn their story
Problem-solve
together
Here's where the good communication skills you built back in the first tip come into play. You'll need to express
your views and feelings about the situation directly and honestly. You'll need to really listen to the other person's
side of things, even if you don't agree with it. Finally, you'll need to approach this as a problem-solving exercise,
as a chance for you both to work together to solve the problem. When you do treat it as a problem to be
mutually solved, some of the heat is taken out of it and you have a greater chance of resolving the problem.
The next time you are faced with a tough issue, tackle it right away. It will save you a lot of trouble down the road.
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